Here's To You

Friends, Readers, Classmates...lend me your eyes. I come to praise the end of school, not to lament it. The legacy of this year will live on forever...for me it will anyway, and it will never be forgotten.

Here's to you, junior class. Most of us have made it, and will be seniors next year. Man how time flies when you're in school. I can't believe it. It seems like just yesterday I couldn't bear to be away from my parents for 3 hours of daycare everyday. Now it seems like tomorrow that I'll be going away to college, finally but not without some nostalgia for the days when I couldn't bear to leave my parents.

Here's to you, friends. You've stood behind me through thick and thin this year. I've forged stronger relationships with some people and others have weakened. It's been a strange year, but you guys were always there for me. Supportive, comedic, and sometimes hurtful...you guys always could pick me up. Thanks to all...you know who you are.

Here's to you, Senior year. This is a nod to the future and what next year will bring for us all...increased pressure to go to college. Increased pressure to go to technical school. Increased everything. But at the same time there's that sweet release. Graduation is in the future. If you're lucky you won't have to take any finals at all in the spring. You get out a week before everyone else to attend a week's worth of boring activities that you must attend. Graduation practice. AP tests if you go that route...the future is bright.

Here's to you , teachers. Thanks for pushing me this year. I needed it more than y'all will probably ever know. Thanks for treating me more like an adult and less like a little child (I mean the belittling some teachers deal out is just humiliating). Junior year has been fun and one of the first years where I've truly enjoyed every one of my classes.

Here's to you, readers...all seven of you. Thanks for reading this collection of things that spew from my brain and happened to be captured by my hands and typed into the computer. I hope you've enjoyed this collection...I know it's been fun putting this out there for you all to read.

And here's to me, Graham Duncan. You know that you have to believe in yourself and believe in God. That's all you have to do to succeed in life Graham. Your decisions are (for the most part) good, and so are your instincts for making those decisions. Trust yourself to make the right decision, in everything coming up in the future. Never be afraid to confide in a friend, or (heaven forbid) your parents. But at the same time, don't be afraid to take time for yourself. Because you need that too. You're a good guy Graham...believe in yourself and you will go far.

This is probably my last post of the year because with this one I will more than likely have my 100% for April and May blogs in English class. Thanks to those who read. It's been a good year.

And so we go...to infinity and beyond.

Today

Living is a day to day thing. Who knows if we are going to wake up in the morning. It's a morbid thought but it's the truth. We never know if we are going to live through the night. We go to bed each night thinking that we will, some say that they know they will, but how can we know what will happen that night? Truth is...we never know.

Each day is a gift. Regardless of what you believe, this thing called life is a great thing, an amazing thing. The true gift that keeps on giving. Every day you can get up and roll unwillingly out of bed should be spent celebrating the fact that you are still able to roll unwillingly out of bed. But we don't do that do we? I know very few people who celebrate every day they live. Those people who live in the here and now. The people who don't dwell in the past and the mistakes that they've made. The people who don't think about the future...they acknowledge the fact that they may never see the day they are planning for. These people are the great people I know.

Live in the today. Don't worry about what you've done...it's done and over and it can't be changed now...so quit dwelling on it. Don't worry about the future...the future will take care of itself by itself. Live in the here and now. Live in the moment. Live...now.

And so we go.

Understanding...Me

At the risk of sounding conceited, I am an extremely complex person. Not that each and every one of us isn't complex (the human body gives us each our own measure of complexity simply from existing). I don't know if anyone really understands me...heck, I don't know if I even understand myself completely.


Anyone who knows me will probably agree with me when I say that I have an interesting personality. My brains give me an academic standing over most people in the junior class (again not to be conceited, that's just how it is), I happen to have some measure of athletic talent, I can blend the student and the athlete like a pro (even though I keep my amateur status). Graham Duncan...that's my identity, but does anyone know what that means. I don't know if they do.


Being Graham Duncan means that I am the sixth in a long line of Graham Duncans. Being Graham Duncan means I come from a swimming background with a past full of successes and a future that is bright and currently stretching endlessly in front of me. Being Graham Duncan means I have been blessed with a cutting/sarcastic/gifted manner of speaking. Being Graham Duncan means academic success and a pressure to keep that academic success going. Being Graham Duncan means being my own harshest critic because of fear of what people will think or say if something happens that isn't Graham Duncan. Being Graham Duncan means dealing with the pressure of being smart and dealing with all the headaches of people trying to get my help when I just wish they would leave me alone so I can finish my own work. Being Graham Duncan is hard.


I don't fully understand myself. I know what I am and what I deal with, but actually knowing what that is and what that makes me is a whole 'nother ball game. The most annoying part of me is my brain. I wish I understood that more than I wish to understand Pre-Calculus or why the heart does what it does. I want to know how my brain works because sometimes I do things that just make me look at myself like wow...Graham Duncan is an idiot.


I hate that this whole post focused on me, I don't like judging and talking about myself. It's not me, but sometimes we all just get to thinking about these things. Never be afraid to question yourself. But don't hide who you are. Being able to be yourself is a wonderful gift...one that I have received very well.


And so we go.

Summer, Sun, Work, and All Things Enjoyable

School. Most people seem to think it's the worst thing invented by man. Personally, I don't mind it all that much. It's not fun all the time, but I mean it gives me something to do through the late summer, fall, winter and early spring months. But that being said, summer is something I always yearn for every year. School is still school no matter how much I like it, it gets wearing on you after a while having your nose constantly on the grindstone. All the social pressures and everything that goes on, it gets old after a while. Everyone lives for those 7 weeks of break we get every year. Everyone lives for summer. Everyone gets restless in the last month of school. And yes that includes you teachers too. Don't try to deny it, we students know that you wanna get rid of us as much as we want to get rid of you. Summer has a spectacular effect on the psyche of people in school. It's fun to watch. The sun puts a spell on us all. The enchanment and the warmth and everything is so much yearned for...even more so after being trapped in a school building gazing longingly outside. Sun, Summer...great stuff.


But with summer also comes work. For me anyway. The end of school is also the end of that which occupies me during the daylit hours, it needs to be filled with something else so I don't hurt myself or others from lack of something to occupy me. So my parents told me, you swim (which I do), and you get a job (which I did). And such is the composition of a summer day for me. Two swim practices a day (great fun for sure) and a shift of work (anywhere from 3 to 5 hours sitting in the sun, soaking in the rays). Lifeguarding is a great job. I may complain about it, but it's not really all that bad. Go through the training, and try to get to each of the pools before all the other people do so you can get a job, and there you go...a decent paying summer job to fund your way through the winter months. I love my job.


Also, with the advent of summer closing in upon us, the return of my sister is heralded after her freshman year of college. Talk about an adjustment for me. I've spent the winter months relatively enjoyably, Katie wasn't there, I adjusted to her not being there fairly easily, and now I have to adjust back. I have to get used to her and my little brother bickering all the time...wow...thinking about it now, it's hard to believe that I was ever used to that.


Well, needless to say this summer will be very interesting. I'm looking forward to it.


And so we go.

Just a Quick One

Blogging is one of those things that you do every now and then (or for a grade if you have Mrs. Matthews), but it takes a lot to come up with quality stuff for other people to slog through. Readers, those who don't blog anyway, can't fully appreciate what it takes for the blogger to create something meaningful to reach and give to the bloggee. This stuff is intense.

Anywho, this weekend is marvelously approaching. Slowly but surely we workers are reaching the end of our workweek tethers, about to embark to the Paradise City that is The Weekend. And for once it is going to be sunny...for Saturday anyway. Then the rain clouds will once again cover the city and bring back the dreary reminder that the weekend won't last forever and school/work is coming again to devour us all. But I personally hope severe weather doesn't visit us.

My heart and prayers go out to those in Tuscaloosa, Alabama who recently endured what is likely to be an F-4 tornado. More than a mile wide and leaving a swath of destruction in its wake across the state of Alabama and 6 other states. The death toll is rising, and I just pray for those down there. It's rough.

Well there we go. The bell for the end of first period is upon us and I must go. I leave you all with this...focus on the journey, don't just use your travels as a means of getting to an end, slow down...enjoy it, there's only one life with no do overs.

And so we go.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Today is Monday. The beginning of a new work/school week. The beginning of a horrendous two week battle with the state's accoutability test and the AP tests. Reviews are in full swing as the major testing occurences of the year arrive. After the next two weeks, we get a merciful two weeks off and then we're back to reviewing for end of the year finals. The end of the school year is a wonderful thing.


But today isn't just another Monday. Today is the Monday after Easter. Easter...the day of the Risen Lord. Now for those of you readers who waver in your belief, or don't believe at all, don't worry. This isn't going to be an opinion based blog post trying to convert as many readers as possible...this is simply one humble, God-fearing Christian high school junior's take on what yesterday was, what it meant and how to move forward.


Yesterday was Easter. Easter is the day of the Christian faith when Jesus Christ rose from the dead after being crucified and buried for 3 days. Defying all odds and breaking all expectations, Jesus came back from the dead. Can you imagine the feelings swirling around back then? The Romans: they didn't really know what was going on, and frankly they didn't care. The Romans didn't understand the Jews and their strange customs. Jerusalem was so far from Rome that they really basically ran themselves as far as things go. In fact, the Roman judge who presided over Jesus' case was going to let him go...he only crucified Jesus because that's what the Jews wanted. The Pharisees: they felt triumphant. They had just knocked off the biggest threat to their power. The Pharisees preached a different kind of life than did Jesus. The Pharisees adhered to Old Testament principles and that's what they taught their "flocks". But Jesus came along and He showed everyone a new way...a different path to God. The Pharisees were scared. They didn't want to lose their wealth and power that they had accumulated throughout the centuries. After the Crucifixion, the Pharisees were feeling very good. The Disciples: they were devastated. Jesus had handpick them three years previously and they had dropped everything to follow. They gave up their jobs, their livelihoods, their families...everything and followed him without question. Now, their Teacher was gone. What were they to do? They knew the Romans would be looking for them. What were they going to do?


That answer comes 3 days later, Jesus' tomb has been breached. The Disciples don't know what to make of it. Their Master had died and now his tomb was open and very obviously without a body inside. Could it be? Could Jesus have possibly conquered death? He had, in fact, done just that. His power was more than that of death, Jesus came back.


But what does this mean? Why go through all of that if you're not going to stay dead? Because it was for us. Jesus was killed, sacrificed actually, so that all of us following would have a direct line to God for forgiveness. We all fall short of the glory of God, we can never live up to his expectations. But because of Jesus, we can redeem ourselves. Jesus is singing the Jackson 5 song, I'll Be There. That's what he is telling us. He gave us another way out. Instead of miring in the harmful effects of sin, we can turn to him and have that burden lifted. It's a wonderful gift to be given.


So what can we do with this? Well that answer is up to you, individually. No one can tell you how to live your life. You have to choose. But why choose the hard way? Why not go with the different path and life outlined by Jesus? He lived to show us that another way is possible. Peace can happen. The world doesn't have to always live in the status quo, challenge the normal way of things. If something is wrong, why keep following it? Break out of the cycle of the world. Challenge yourself. Live out a different path and see how it changes your life.


And so we, all of us, go.

Journey

Journey is far more than a music group. Journey means something. Journey is the path you take through life. Journey is how you get to your destination, but it is so much more than just getting there. It's the people along your way, the things you do, places you go, friends you make. It is life. Our journey here is short, when speaking in grandiose geological terms. But our years on this planet take a long time. They can be full, or empty. They can live out to our expectations or they can fall short. It's all about how you choose to do what you do, and if you do what you choose to do. Our journey, our sojourn, through life has ups and downs. It's like a massive roller coaster with no end in the forseeable future and with no controls that we can see. But, like a coaster, we are relatively safe within the confines of the car and on the track. We know what's going to happen (or not happen), but once you leave the "track" or leave the "car" of life, you don't know what's coming. That's the excitement of the journey. So may your journey be long. May you fulfill yourself on your journey. May you find life, even in death. May you see that joy and sorrow are both necessary components on your journey. May you love strongly. May you see the world and all the wonders it holds for you. Enjoy your journey. And so we go.

The End Is Near

As the end of the year approaches, I find myself yearning even more for summer than I usually do. I don't know why, the future after high school scares me and this next year will signify the beginning of the end. But something about this year killed me a little inside. Something about this year was off for me. Truth is...junior year wasn't what I thought it was going to be. Granted I wasn't exactly sure what it was going to be in the beginning, but it definitely didn't turn out the way I thought it would. I'm not the same person I was 8 months ago. Something inside me is different from what it was before. It's been a year of ups and a year of downs, a cycle much like any other cycle in the world. You can't have the up without the down and for some reason everyone always thinks that the up swings will last forever and ever...I was one of those people. Life was great. It kept getting better, but it can't always be so. A wrench is thrown. It makes life interesting, shows you who you really are. When things don't go your way how you react says a lot about who you are. And now the end of this year is coming to an end. This cyclical year that seems to have, lately, more downs than ups is drawing to a close. Summer vacation is upon us, Senior year is upon us, college is right around the corner. And I'm ready, ready to bust out of this cycle and forge onward. And so we go.

Finally....The Moment Has Arrived

Me, Graham Duncan, avid Wildcat fan...I never thought this would happen. UK is in the Final Four for the first time in 13 years. Who would have thought that this group of players (who have nowhere near the talent of last year's squad) would do what last year could not? Let me be the first to say that I certainly didn't...along with all of Big Blue Nation. But let me also be the first to say that I will be one of the most avid supporters of this team in the country. This squad is simply amazing. They play on a 6 man rotation...their talent isn't quite what other teams have. But they have heart. They've proven that having the top recruiting class isn't everything. They've proven what can happen when you believe in yourself and in the rest of your team. Throughout the whole season there wasn't much for UK. Sure we only lost 9 games this whole season...but all of those were on the road and away from Rupp Arena. We couldn't stay tough in close games, there just wasn't a desire to win. They have that desire now. They stormed through the SEC tournament in spectacular fashion. They got a 4 seed in the NCAA tournament and got placed in the same bracket as Ohio State and North Carolina...and guess who is in the Final Four? That's right UK is. This team is amazing. The way they have come together with each other is awesome. They have chemistry, they trust each other, they trust their coach, they have the backing of the best fan base in the country...they have Josh Harrellson. Anything I could say would just be repeating and rehashing what others have said, so I'm going to stop right there. But I want to add that I love this team. This basketball team is amazing I love watching them play and I absolutely cannot wait to see what they do in these last two games. Let's go UK! And so we go.

Life's Little Quirks

Life. This short time on Earth that we have. It throws us up, it throws us down, it gives us a ride then gives us away. We are slaves to life's whims...and life is sometimes very whimsical. It's those whimsical times that I look forward to.

Life loves to give us some times to laugh. It knows that it is way too hard on us, so it tries to lighten the mood every now and then. An inside joke between friends. That weird kid in the lunch room who sweats a ridiculous amount for no apparent reason. Unintentional slap stick comedic occurrences. Life loves to entertain us in between the trials and tribulations. These "quirks", if you will, make everything else worth it. For without the joy, the pain is unbearable.

"Life is pain...anyone who says differently is selling something." (Cary Elwes playing as Westly in The Princess Bride). This is more or less true, life is a series of sufferings and hard times. Life doesn't discriminate between rich and poor in its dealings with mortals. The tough times hit everyone...regardless of status.

But the quirks...the whimsical moments...the good times...the inside jokes...the weird people...everyone contributes to the whimsical-ness of life. It's a wonderfully quirky, and oppositely painful experience that we love.

And so we go.

It's Better to Have Loved and Lost...but I wish I had never Loved at all...

Have you ever had strong feelings of any sort? Anger. Hatred. Love. Emotions cloud the judgment and make you blind to everything. They create a picture that is shaped by the feelings and isn't always necessarily true. Love can make you ignore the faults of a person...even if the faults are really really bad. Anger can make you blind to the good side of a person. It's a two way street.

The teenage years are turbulent ones. Hormones are raging whether you're in the grips of puberty or not, feelings tend to get confused, and mistakes are made more often than avoided. Strong emotions are part of the roller coaster ride that is adolescent years. Love is a word overused and often misused. The strong feelings we have are confused. Love is used incorrectly and applied incorrectly as well. Love in particular has the most devastating effects on life.

Regardless of what you think about teens and love and relationships, we teens think we have love with our relationships. Do we misuse it? Absolutely. But it's part of the learning process. Through our "experiments" (I hesitate to use that term), we discover what we like in the opposite sex. We find for ourselves what we like, what we don't like, what we can live with, and what we can live without. If we didn't do this during these years we would only make our mistakes later and that would possibly be even more devastating.

Some say it's better to have loved and lost...I agree. Because when you lose what you loved it makes you appreciate what that person was to you. But the pain of losing that person who had owned your love for however long is hard to go through. Is the time that you spent with that person worth the pain of losing them without hope of getting them back? Sometimes its not. Which is why I wish I had never loved at all.

I have misused the word "love" more than I care to acknowledge. How can I help it? I don't know what love is anymore than the people who I said I loved did. We just don't know. We're eager to find out what love is because of what surrounds us. Our society pushes love and finding that person. It's pushed so much that the actual meaning of love has been lost. The media especially has clouded our views of what love is. I don't think anyone knows anymore. That is except for the people who have found it. The couple that is married for 80 years. That's love. Together through thick and thin? That's not an idea from a love song...it can happen. That's love. The first date that leads to engagement and the 80 year marriage...that's love. It's so hard to find that though.

I don't believe in love at first sight...for myself. Do I think that possibly there are instances where that happens? Sure, I don't want to say no because I don't know how all that works myself, but I acknowledge its possibility. Love is an experiment. It has no definition. Pain is involved yes, but love is also healing. It can pull you up when you're down. It is an amazing thing. I say that I wish I had never loved at all...but deep down I'm glad I have. I've learned some important things about myself through it all. Love is a good teacher like that. It's taught me that I need to leave it alone for a while. The pain of loss has finally bitten me too many times, it needs to be put to rest. Love...this is goodbye for now. I'll just have to resign myself to waiting for that person. Because I do believe that everyone has a perfect match somewhere. Call it wishful thinking on my part, but I honestly do believe that. I know that out there somewhere is the girl who really is the second half of me. That's one of the fun parts of this crazy journey we call life...the quest for your other half.

We exist simply to find companionship. That is the ultimate goal. I don't care what you say...single people aren't always happy. Humans yearn for the comfort of other people, especially that one person that fits perfectly with you. It's a rare match to make. But that's why the experimentation is important. It paves the way for the perfect person. They're out there...waiting for you.

Love. You have bitten me too many times. I've said it before...I need a break. The pain is hard to deal with, but I'll get through it. That's another lesson from love...how to take the loss and heartbreak and turn it into something good. Dealing with it. Moving on. That's life. That's love.


And so I go...

Sunsets...and Sunrises

As I'm riding on the way back from the KYLSC State "A" Championship swim meet we are heading back west from Lexington. It is approximately 6:32 in the evening (Central Time), and there is an absolutely beautiful sunset in front of us. There's just something about the sun sinking below the horizon that changes the whole world. The sun goes from a bright yellow to varying shades of red and orange, it changes the color of the sky and the clouds...it's breathtakingly beautiful.


It got me thinking about the symbolicness (is that a word? ...well it is now) of the sunset. Think about it...what does the sinking of the sun herald? Night. A time devoid of (natural) light. The reign of the boogeyman begins with the sun setting. Chaos takes over without the sun to mediate its dealings with the mortal world. We experience a descent into the depths. Night provides cover for unhappy occurrences...until the sun rises again the next morning. Sunsets symbolize the end. The happy times of the day are done, and the lukewarm light of the stars take the place of the warm eye of the sun. But before it goes away each day, the sun shows us why we love the beautiful sun so much. The colors, the beauty, the simplicity of a sunset leave us with a hope that a good thing is coming...something even better than what came before.


The cycling of the sun rising and then setting can be likened to a person's life. The day begins, the sun is bright and the day gets off to a good start. It's the birth of a new day. A person's birth is similar. The child is beautiful (maybe not right out of the womb, but after it gets cleaned there are few things more precious than a newborn child). There is hope for the life. The child's flame is strong from birth, hope it high, it is going to be a good day. As the sun rises it loses some of its initial brilliance. It is still bright, but we get used to it. We've started to take it for granted. The child grows, it is still beautiful, but no longer the cute baby that it was. People begin to adjust and the child is assimilated into life. As the sun climbs, it doesn't grow brighter, but its heat grows. It reaches the summit of its elliptical path around the earth. The child is now getting into its role in life. It isn't brighter than at birth, but it is contributing to society. It's growing into an adult and coming into the best parts of its life. Things are good, the horizons are endless. Then the sun begins its descent. The brightness starts to dim...the heat is slowly but surely fading. The adult fulfills its purpose. It contributed a lot to the world in its prime, but slowly their importance isn't as valued as it once was. Its life is still a bright spot in the world, but the contributing heat is fading...the descent is coming.


The sun enters its most beautiful phase...the sunset. The heat is nearly, or already, gone. But it is as its most beautiful right at the end. The adult has grown, it has retired, it has lived a full life. Now they are truly beautiful, they have offspring who love them. Their world is complete and there is nothing more beautiful than a life well lived and a life well loved.


The sun set. The person dies. Hopelessness reigns supreme for those left behind. There is nothing left for them to enjoy. Then the realization hits...life is renewed the next day. The sun will rise again...the cycle continues. There is life after death. That is a comfort to those living and left behind, and a comfort to those completing the cycle. The constant patter of sunrises and sunsets is proof to us that there is more after us. The end isn't death...there is more.


And so we go...into the sunset...

Who am I?

Self-identification is (I'm told) the biggest struggle young adults face. We are beginning to come into our own selves. Puberty is a thing of the past. Our bodies are no longer changing as fast as they once did. And now that we are comfortable in our bodies, there is a modicum of normalcy established, we face the much more dauting task of figuring out why we are here. It's scary.


When I think about who I am, the list comes quickly and easily. I am a swimmer, I am a student, I am a scholar-athlete, I am a son, I am an older and younger brother, I am a follower of Christ, I am a liscensed driver, I am a Kentuckian...and the list could possbily continue on and on into infininty...and then beyond that. The who you are is the easiest to figure out because all you have to do is think about what you see yourself as and what other people see you as and voila...that is who you are. But how do you take who you are and apply that to the world? How do you take your being and make something useful and worthwhile out of your life? That is the self-identification that is so hard for teens to get simply because we don't know.


Throughout school we are trained and taught and told that we need to know what our CAREER is going to be...from kindergarten. We are geared to think about the future from an early age. This often leads to confusion and rash decisions on the part of the student. I mean, how can you possibly know what you want to be when you're 5 years old? Really, the thought that you could know is impossible. Now I know that teachers aren't actually expecting an actual decision on a career path in elementary school, but the thoughts are there. They get us thinking about who we are before we can know ourselves. To me it seems slightly ridiculous. Self-identification will work on its own. We all will come into who we are meant to be on our own time and in our own fashion. No one can tell you how to live your life. They will always make the decision that will help THEM the most, not YOU. Your life is your own; it has its own uniue meaning that can only be figured out by one person...you.

There is no doubt that self-identification is tough for everyone to go through. It's hard to try to figure out how to make meaning out of your life, but it helps if you're given space to figure it out on your own. Granted assistance is nice, but ultimately only YOU know what YOU like, you know who you truly are, and you will be the one who has to live with whatever you try to do and whatever you make out of your life. Self-identification is just that...yourself identifying who you are and who you will be. It is a personal journey through life; the meaning can only be determined by you...you identifying who you are. It is a unique things that we get to experience. I hope you find yourself somewhere out there.

And so we go...

The Power to Tear Someone Down

Recently, I have hit a rough patch in my life. Things have gotten busier, colleges are hounding me trying to get me to believe that their school is the absolute best place for me, school is harder, AP exams are looming on the horizon, scheduling has started....so many changes that it's making my head spin. But some things were still stable. My family is still there for me, school is harder but its still school, I'm still excelling in the pool, and my girlfriend was still a definite. Things have changed. The relationship is in a state of limbo and one of the most important legs of my table of stability is now wobbling, unsure of whether to topple or stay strong. And my feelings are now in question, which led me to the realization that when you are in a relationship that you put everything into, and then its over or in question...you are changed.

When you have someone that you give everything to, or when someone gives everything to you, you have granted, or been granted, an enormous power over that person. You hold their happiness, their...whatever you want to call it, in the palm of your hand. You can crush it or you can cherish it. Or cherish then crush it. You hold them in your hand. When things are going great its awesome, when their not...someone gets hurt.

I always told myself when bad things happen that I wouldn't cry. Granted I'm not generally a teary person, but there are things that get to me and I just can't help it (like a good swift chop to the nose). Anyways, when I first discovered signs that things were breaking down, I told myself that I wouldn't cry, no matter what happened. I lied to myself.

I never fully realized how much I had given to my relationship...until that relationship was thrown into question. Granted, the end is not here yet, but that possibility is there. It's harder than I thought it would be. I never fully realized how much of my power I had given away til all that power was given back to me. It was a lot. I was devastated. Everything that I had thought would last forever was gone. My power was back...it overwhelmed me.

When feelings are strong, you don't fully realize what you do. Things get glossed over. You forget about yourself. You forget about what you are giving away. You give your all...and when your all isn't enough you don't know what to do with yourself. You are torn down. Feelings are powerful things, beware of what they can do to you. Don't let your power get lost or it might get used against you. Beware of giving someone the power to tear you down.

And so I go.

The Distance Factor of Attraction

As I was traveling back from St. Louis this weekend, I was struck with an idea. I was sitting in a McDonald's in Mt. Vernon, Illinois waiting for my order of 10 Chicken McNuggets (hamburgers just didn't appeal at the time). A girl walked in, and I, sitting on the other side of the restaurant, found myself distracted by her apparent good looks. I avidly watched her walk in and I thought, "Jeez, I should move to Illinois" in typical hormonal teenage guy fashion. But as she came closer I realized that she didn't have what I thought she did. Not that she was ugly, but from across the room, in the glare of the fluorescent lights, filled with anticipation of eating a good meal, I attributed a lot more beauty to her than she had.

So this begged the question, what factor does distance play in attraction to a person?

One can answer this when thinking purely about the physical looks of a person. From a distance this is all you can see. If you like what you see you could be attracted to that person, physically. But you can't see what they are really like. You can see that they are pretty but you don't know what they are like. But because they are pretty you are attracted to them. Take, for instance, the actors and actresses of Hollywood. I, like I'm sure many of my contemporaries have, have always harbored a fantastical attraction to the women of Hollywood. I mean, they're beautiful. I can see that they are beautiful. I'm attracted. But I also can't ever get to know who they really are. I'm still attracted by their looks. I'm also very far removed from them. Not only in the sense of distance, but also in the sense of social standing. Distance can definitely affect physical attraction.

And then there's the other side. If you are in a relationship with someone (whatever the level is) you obviously like something about that person that makes you want to be with them. So when you are separated from that person, separated from the things you like about them, it increases your attraction for them. How many men go away on a business trip for a month or however long and then come back and shun their wives? I don't know of many who would. The fact that they have been away for so long increases their attraction to their other half. They long to be with them. Distance from the other side increases the attraction one has for the other side.

The distance factor of attraction is a potent thing. It can lead to situations that might not be desired. Like me in that McDonald's. Feelings can be confused from a distance. You can make mistakes at a distance. It is a potent thing.

And so we go.

Control and Comfort

Death is one of those things that effects everyone. It happens eventually...you can't stop it...it is inevitable. The fact that it comes and visits everyone scares everyone. No one lives forever. Death is an eventuality that everyone needs to plan for because it will come.

Death is a frightening prospect to many people. Some don't think about it because its easier that way. But the thoughts come across every now and then. It's only natural. The inevitability is the most frightening part of death. You know it's coming, there's no way to avoid it. It's scary. We always like to think that we have some manner of control over our lives. The control is comforting, it makes us feel better about things if we know the outcome. But there are some things that we just can't control and we have no way of controlling. Those are what frighten us the most. The monster under the bed...we don't know what it is, we can't control it...it scares us. The boogeyman is an unknown entity, unknown and potentially uncontrollable, so it becomes scary. Car wrecks...you LOSE control, car goes careening, scary prospect.

We, as humans, equate control with comfort. Our lives are more comfortable if we know what's coming and what to expect, right? Loss of control is when fear comes in. This is shown to us throughout history. Countries lose their leaders, there is no control, chaos reigns and people get scared. They get so scared and so wanting of control that they give up almost everything in order to get control back. In order to get their comfort back. But then this begs the question...is control always good?

Think about a communist country. Everything is controlled by the state (government), everything is provided, people are comfortable. But are they? They get everything they need, but what about what they want? How comfortable are they if they ONLY have what they need? There is always that desire for more, the want to own things and stuff that leads to a lack of comfort in a controlling society. So can control and comfort really be equal?

And so we go.

Swim Practice...Or the story of how Graham Duncan (space cowboy) gave birth to an alien species and then destroyed said species singlehandedly

****WARNING: THIS STORY IS NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED, SQUEEMISH, WEAK STOMACHED, OR THOSE WHO ARE PREGNANT OR MAY BECOME PREGNANT. IF YOU ARE ANY OF THE ABOVE...DO NOT READ THIS BLOG.****


It all started at swim practice on February 21, 2011. It was a normal practice, and I was feeling really good. Then, I started hacking, coughing amazingly. The chlorine fumes from the pool had combined with the oxygen in my lungs and it wasn't a nice combination. So there I was, hacking away, when a strange feeling overtook my epiglottal region. I screamed (quietly), and next thing I know there's a burning sensation in my whole thoracic cage. The pain was intense, I've never experienced anything quite like it. I thought I was going to die from the all consuming fire in my lungs and throat. Then it started moving. I had no idea what it was, but it felt like something was trying to force its way out of my trachea...something that wasn't supposed to be there. It was a curious sensation. I didn't know what to think, I didn't know what to do. Then...it started moving up, toward my mouth.

Approximately 3.2 milliseconds later, Muctor was born. From the hideous, Hadatian depths of the planet Mucosa, this creature was 25 feet tall. He had arms that could crush steel, they could crush it right into powder. His legs were as big around as tree trunks...really big tree trunks. He was solid, but amorphous. He could change his appearance at will. He was hideous...and I had birthed him.

What could I do? I was swimming. I had to prepare, but I couldn't let Muctor loose on the HealthPark and the rest of Owensboro. What were my options?

Before I could think of anything to do, Muctor took the decision out of my hands. He had started to terrorize the little kids on the team. I couldn't let that happen. I've always had a soft spot for the little children, and their screams were filled with such terror that my heart was ripped to pieces over and over. I had to act.

Activating my Speedo tool belt, I produced an alien ray shooter. I had never seen it before. I didn't know how to work it, but I had to figure out...and fast. More kids were perishing with each passing second. I found the trigger and pulled it.........only to have my right arm fall off. I had it pointed at myself. I turned it around and made mincemeat of Muctor. The kids were safe, they would survive til tomorrow. My creation was dead, my heart was torn, but everyone was thankful that such a hero was there to help them and to save their children.

So...that's how Graham Duncan, brave space cowboy, gave birth and subsequently defeated an alien species bent on the destruction of Earth's little children.







And so we go.

A Faster Ride

So much of society today is about getting things quickly, and getting things done quickly. It's not so much about making something that is quality, it's how much can you make in a short amount of time. Quality has gone out the window.

What's happened to us? Since when has it been acceptable to crank out a ton of something that is very crappily made? Why can't we slow down?

There used to be days when making a good quality product was what people desired. A good quality something that would last. It didn't matter what it was, it was well made and someone had taken into consideration that quality is better than quantity. There used to be more differences between things too. Society is too "cookie cutter" these days. If everything is made the same way, it streamlines production and it can double output...but what if the output is crap? Is that really better for the customer?

I recently listened to a song title (ironically) "A Faster Ride" by Cartel. It's all about how a guy's girlfriend wanted a "faster ride". All innuendos aside, this is also a problem today. Everyone needs to fall in love and get married as quick as possible. There's no get to know you stage, the dating stage is very short, engagement and marriage come before you know it...and then divorce follows when one finds out the person who they "fell in love with" is completely different. We just need to slow down. Get to know somebody. What's the rush? In the song, the guy ends up leaving his girlfriend because he can't give her the "faster ride". He didn't want to move more quickly...it was time to leave.

Rushing things has become a major part of what we are today. Everything needs to be done quickly and quality has become secondary. And there are some who wonder why things have gotten bad these days...

and so we go.

Grades

School is neverending. The pressure is crushing. The situations are many and varied. It never lets up. School is always on your back, dragging you down, holding you accountable, everchanging and never the same. We're expected to devote 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, to this institution of education. For what? The grades. The grades that lead to placement in advanced classes to set high achieving students above their peers in an attempt to get them as prepared for college. Grades rule a student's life. It's all about the grades. You need good grades to get into a good college to get good preparation to live a good life. It's a circle that never ends. And it always comes back to grades.

In this second semester of my junior year I'm starting to see how good grades and good academic performance can set you apart from others. I scored a 30 on my ACT. Before I took the test and (stupidly) got my scores sent across the United States I was recieving minimal college mail traffic. It was enough to weigh down the mail whenever we got it, but it wasn't off the charts. After the ACT, there was a sharp increase in college mail for me. Colleges are looking for those students that will make them look good, the students who are strong academically. They don't want the average kids. They are willing to do more and go the extra mile to obtain a strong performer on the academic side of school. Grades are everything.

I don't want to brag, but I'm a straight A student. I have been ever since I started to get letter grades. No blemishes on my academic record. I'm a good student, some would say great, and it comes pretty easily to me. I don't know why, but I just...get it. Good grades are something that have always come my way because I put in the effort and I want to learn. I'm eager to expand my knowledge. It's not that hard to get the good grades people like to see...you just have to be willing to put in the effort. With that being said, I have lapses. I just got my progress report for the third nine weeks and, for the first time ever, I have a B and (gasp) a C. What was my first reaction? There was none. I was shocked. I had become so accustomed to getting the grades, making those A's, getting mercilessly (and teasingly) ragged for being so good in the classroom that seeing a C on my progress report....it was a shock. How could this have happened to me? "Graham Duncan doesn't get C's", "Graham is too good for that", "What has the world come to?" that's what my friends will say. And you know what, that will be worse for me than anything I can say to myself. I have this obsession with being what others see me as. They see me as smart, so that's what I am. I am what they expect me to be, and what I expect myself to be. But comments from friends always affect us as much, if not more, than our own comments ever could, after all they are friends. To those of you who read this, I don't want any of you to feel bad, this isn't a call for pity. This is an expulsion of my thoughts and feelings into a blog that I have to write for school. This is everything that I'm thinking as it runs through my head. I'm bearing my soul to the merciless filter of the Internet, what an idiotic thing to do.

Ah well, I have vented my feelings and surprisingly I feel better about everything. The pressure from school is neverending. We have to succeed and be successful. There's just too much negativity surround success. The only thing the successful have that they unsuccessful don't have is the desire to be successful. They want to succeed...so they do. That is a principle that has been lost through the years. As success seems to become hereditary and people lose their drive to succeed, that's when the problem starts. My grades will come up, I have to look good for colleges and meet the expectations that everyone has for me. But most of all, I have to do it for myself...

And so we go.

Stumped

Have you ever found yourself searching for a good idea? Or, having already thought of said idea but promptly forgetting it, searching your memory for that idea? That's kind of how I feel right now.

I'm sitting in English now, waiting for inspiration to strike me in the middle of the forehead, and guess what...nothing is happening. I hate these moments. Earlier in study hall, I had a host of good ideas. And I even wrote those ideas down so I wouldn't forget them...but now I can't remember where I put those ideas. It's been a bad day. But what really gets me off about all this is that I had a really good blog in study hall...and now.........................................................................................................................................
................................................................................................................................................
................................................................................................................................................
...............................................................................................there's nothing useful circulating through my wonderfully human brain. Kudos to failure...and kudos to being stumped.

And so we go.

Again...There's Nothing Here

As I sit here in study hall (we're in the Commons Area today, its a refreshing change from the auditorium), I'm struggling internally with what to blog about, how to blog, and why I even feel the need to blog today, right now. It's just one of those questioning days, probably borne from my half awakeness and my body struggling to recover from my emotional high at the Region Swim meet this weekend. Who knows? I certainly don't.

Question One: What do I blog about?
This question arises quite a lot, especially as my creative, one word, attention grabbing blog title ideas dry up. I feel as if I've evolved as a blogger throughout this semester, and a little bit, of serious blogging for a grade. In the beginning I would try to be funny while being deep. I think I probably got there with a few of my blogs. Then I switched to trying to take a single word or idea and trying to attach a deeper meaning, kind of like English teachers do with that random symbol in a supposedly important book. That was fun, and it definitely encouraged my thinking, but soon that too ceased to bring me satisfaction that I had done a good job. And now I'm at the place where ideas to blog about are slowly drying up, I no longer have a definite idea about what I want to blog about. It's not as if I don't have enough in my life to blog about, or enough opinions on current issues, or any of that...I just don't have that something that made it easy in the beginning to come up with ideas. So I'm constantly faced with the question, What do I blog about?

Question Two: How should I blog?
This is a big one. I want to know what people want to read, I want to know what they would enjoy, I don't want to disappoint my hordes (11) of readers. Do they want something funny? Do they want to find some deeper meaning about something? Do they want to read my thoughts on some random idea? What do they want and how do I give them what they want? I want people to visit my blog and I want them to come away with something. Whether that something was a laugh when they were having a bad day, or just a new way of looking a some random, seemingly unimportant idea. I want to have done something for someone. How should I blog? How do I reach who I want to reach? How do I know that I have done what I wanted to do?

Question Three: Why do I feel the need to blog?
Is it because I know at the end of the month there is a 30 point grade for my blogs? Is it because I just saw something that I find repulsive, or funny, or horrendous, or ridiculous, or life changing? What motivates me to blog? Why do I continue to visit this site to type my thoughts for people to read? I don't see the point (outside of the whole grade thing) of blogging. I mean honestly who cares? Why would anyone want to read what someone else thinks? What difference does it make? Blogging is almost completely useless. Self-expression. That's the answer to the question raised above. The need to get myself out there and have people know what I think. We all need a place to go where we can rant, rage, comment, note, or whatever about how we feel. We, living in this society today, are fortunate enough to have many different outlets for these feelings. We have so many ways to get our thoughts out there and shown for everyone to see. That's why I blog, I need to get my thoughts out of my head, I need to express myself electronically.

As I sit here in study hall, in the refreshingly new environment of the Commons Area, I feel a little better. My internal struggles have been expressed and thought out. Blogging is like having an internal conversation with yourself, while also talking to hundreds of people. It lets you sift through your thoughts, it allows you to examine them for yourself without the filter of other people. You can get it all out there, and then people can comment on it and supply their own thoughts to yours. Its therapeutic.

And so we go.

Bad Ideas

1. Running through traffic like you're Frogger from the old video game.
2. Siphoning gas with your mouth.
3. Jumping into an ice covered pond without wearing any clothes.
4. Hunting moose from a helicopter.
5. Wearing black with navy blue.
6. Attempting to annihilate a social group.
7. Ponzi schemes.
8. Adopting a pet tiger from Siam (seeing as tigers don't live in Siam, this would be not only a bad idea, but an impossible dream).
9. Running an insane asylum.
10. Paper shredders.
11. Asking your mom to go to prom with you because you can't get a date from high school.
12. Grabbing the hot metal of a pot that contains boiling water.
13. Plagiarism.
14. Attempting to be flawless and perfect.
15. Throwing yourself off a building because you think you can fly.
16. Climbing a tree in the rain forest.
17. Trying to be Siegfried and Roy...or being Siegfried and Roy.
18. Bear baiting.
19. Reading Ye Olde English.
20. Marriage.
21. Traveling the world with Dory from Finding Nemo.
22. Accepting a free car from Oprah.
23. Accepting anything from Oprah.
24. Screaming "Fire!!!" in a crowded movie theater.
25. Spending your entire life in the world of Facebook.
26. Keeping your old Myspace account.
27. Walking across a lake that is covered in thin ice.
28. Teaching elementary kids how to finger paint.

And so we go.

Tired

I'm tired. I'm tired of the state of things today. I'm tired of people like Luke blaming me for things that happen that were directely his fault, but could be slightly not really at all remotely indirectly my fault, like that time he hit my girlfriend Morgan in the face with a tennis ball and said it was my fault. I'm tired. I'm tired of failure. I'm tired of people sleeping in class. I'm tired of people who use their right hand to throw the baseball but they bat left handed. I'm tired. I'm tired of people talking. I'm tired of people who put drink mixes in a perfectly good bottle of distilled and purified water. I'm tired of people who wear hunter orange and camo even when they don't hunt. I'm tired of hicks. I'm tired of people who think all of Kentucky is like Eastern Kentucky (as far as I'm concerned Eastern Kentucky is a seperate state, kinda like Tennessee). I'm tired of racial injustice. I'm tired of reverse racism. I'm tired of white guilt. I'm tired of minorities using their minority status to get their way...just because they're a minority. I'm tired of Eminem advertising for Lipton Brisk Tea. I'm tired of Steelers fans. I'm tired. I'm tired of semi-good Super Bowl commercials. I'm tired of Spanish class. I'm tired of Apollo's gym uniform. I'm just plain tired of everything. We need to grow up, and I need to get some sleep.

And so we go.

Sickness

Let me be the first, and definitely not the only, person to tell you that being sick is terrible. I'm currently battling some sort of cold/sinus/congestion/bronchitis/everything respiratory disease. And it's terrible. Now its not just this respiratory stuff that stinks. It's being sick in general. Your body feels run down, you're always tired as your body fights off the infection, you become more susceptible to other diseases, your body aches, and you just feel everything more than when you're healthy. I'm so tired, and I'm tired of being sick. I'm just ready to get it all over with and feel better...especially since I have the Region One Championship Swim Meet next weekend...

And so we go.

Snow

Snow is wonderful. I love the fluffy, powdery stuff. It make me happy to look out on a world blanketed in a pure unbroken plain of soft, white snow. It gives everything a pristine look, and the world just looks peaceful. Snow is wonderful.

However, it presents many problems to the functioning of a society that relies on roads and cars and other modes of transportation that rely on traction on a rough road to remain stable. Snow and ice together combine to make that rough surface unrough and hence take away traction causing cars to slide and hit each other, cars to run off the road, and many other catastrophes. It sucks.

But winter is one of my more favorite times of the year. It is very cold, this I know. But there's something about it that makes me like it so much. Autumn is a time of death to me, the trees start going into their dormant state to conserve energy, and everything just starts to look dead. By the time autumn is over, I'm just ready to forget all my morbid thoughts and what comes next? Winter. It can be depressing sometimes, the lack of sun, the cold, the snow, the ice, the dangers. But with winter comes Christmas, the New Year, Groundhog's Day, President's Day, Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, Valentine's Day, and the hope and knowledge that spring is coming soon. Life will return to our barren world. The ice caps and glaciers will give up all the land that they took over during the long winter. The world becomes new again. Winter is the greatest season of the year.

And so we go.

Failure

You see it everywhere. The dejected kids on TV ads after they lose a game......and they're happy. What is wrong with this picture? Does having pizza after failing really make the failing worth it? Since when has our society moved that if you don't succeed you are still good? Where is the drive toward success that made us who we are?

America these days is a constantly changing, amoeba-like organism. But we've grown complacent with our place in the world. There was once a time in our history when, as a country, we were nothing. An insignificant speck on the face of the earth. Were we happy with that? Heck no! So what did we do about it? We worked hard, we innovated, we took pride in our success not in our failure. Did we fail? Yes, many times. Did we celebrate that? Heck no! We were ashamed of our failures, we did not let our failures define us. Instead we took them as teaching tools, and then used those experiences to motivate further success. That's what made this country what it is, desire to succeed, desire to be the best. So why do we see ads on TV that are telling the young generations of America that it is okay to fail, or to lose? It's okay to lose, you'll still get a pizza out of it. These ads sicken me.

Why do we do this? Why do we encourage this sort of losing mentality in the people who are going to be making decisions and doing things that will affect this country? Do we as a country really want to be losers? Do we want to live with failure? How can we possibly be okay with being any less than the best? Now, don't peg me as the guy who says only America should be the best. I'm not trying to say that at all. All I'm trying to say is that if we have a desire to succeed, a drive to be successful, we will be successful. And that doesn't apply to just this country, that is a universal rule. All you have to do is desire to succeed, and you'll be more likely to do so. Why live with failure? Why celebrate failure? Do we want to hold ourselves back?

Failure isn't something to live with. Does it happen? Yes it does. But there is a difference between letting failure define you and using failure to help you learn what not to do. Don't become complacent with failure. That's the first step down a dark path that you don't want to see. Success is good, success should be desired not looked down upon. Don't fall into the arms of failure, you don't want to go there.

And so we go...

Water

I love water. Let me be the first one to tell you, water is a great substance. And I'm not just saying that because I swim. Water is life-giving. And that's the real deal (that was for you Luke). Think about it, your body is over 60% water. 60%! That's more than half! That's almost three-quarters! That's a lot. Without water, our bodies would shrivel up and die. Have you ever seen a mummy? If you haven't, they are some sick looking creatures, it's almost like they're dead...anyway they are all shriveled up and dead looking. They look this way because to mummify a body, one has to dry up all the fluids in the body. Want to venture a guess as to what liquid is the most abundant? If you guessed blood, you're wrong. If you guessed brain fluid, you're wrong. However, if you guessed water, you would be correct. Water, along with some other substances, gives our skin its ability to stretch (to a certain degree).

Water isn't just important to the body though. What do you use to wash yourself in the shower (or bath depending on how you roll)? Water. What do you use to wash your hands? Water. What is the most abundant ingredient in hand sanitizer? Water. What is used to wash your dog when he is dirty? Water. Water is wonderful. It's everywhere. Over 70% of the planet and over 60% in your body. We cannot escape it. If we try, our bodies tell us that something is dreadfully wrong and we need to ramify and quantify and exemplify and Abilify our mistake with (you guessed it) water. Don't run away from your water problems. Embrace them. Are you addicted to water? Good! That's the best possible thing to be addicted to. However, do not overindulge on water. That is just as bad. If your body gets saturated with water it can no longer function the way its supposed to. So drink responsibly.

Water, its everywhere. Don't escape it, embrace it. Water. Get some.

And so we go.

Hmmm...What to call this one?

This is a question I face many times a day. Whether it be what to call my next blog, or what to call that one guy sitting back there in the corner of the room trying not to be noticed. Yeah, you know who I'm talking about. Anyways, names have a very important significance in our society. They let people know what to call you, they can let you know when people are mad. Names, we just can't get enough of them.

Town names are important, though if you look at many town names west of the Mississippi River you may doubt that statement. Old days names (colonial times) usually pertained to important things that surrounded the town. People were creative with names, or they named their towns after famous people and whatnot. But as pioneer expansion turned westward, that creativity ran dry and we got names like Browning, Roy, Accident, Bird In Hand, Frankenstein, and Frostproof. I mean, what were these people thinking?! I know exactly what they were thinking. "Hmmm...What to call this one?"

People's names are also very important. One of the first things that parents are asked after they birth a child is, "What are you going to call it?" Names of people are very important for recording purposes. Names get filed with the hospital and all your records can go under your name. Names are important for birth certificates, which serve as the premier source of identification. But again, like the town names, there are some very interesting names out there. For instance, Tempest, Candy, Eustace, Hugo, Juan, Richard, and many many more. What were their parents thinking...I think I know. "Hmmm...What to call this one?"

Names. Nombres. Names. They are very important and powerful things. Use them well and administer them carefully.

And so we go.

January

What can one say about the month of January? There really isn't much to say. Outside of New Year's and Martin Luther King, Jr. day the month is basically barren. Oh yeah, there's always that nagging chance of snow and ice that will freeze everything to a halt and bury many states under snow, incapacitating governments that are used to working in sunny times with warmth and prosperity. Take, for instance, the Deep South just this past week. Many states in this region were faced with freeze warnings, ice, and snow and just general winter mayhem that a majority of the United States deals with every year. However, the Deep South remains relatively untouched by Winter's deathly freeze grip. Sure it gets cold sometimes, but ice and snow? Come on! It's the Deep South! But not this year. Florida has been battling freezes for some time, its winter crops in danger and most of the U.S. is wondering where they will get their winter oranges and grapefruits. Louisiana, just last week, issued a state of emergency BEFORE the weather even hit. Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport was shut down. All of this because January is mad that no one appreciates it. It's the lone winter month that nobody looks forward to. I mean, let's face it, at least February has Valentine's Day. January...don't be a cry baby.

And so we go.

Looking Forward To 2010

WOWIE ZOWIE!!!!!!! That is just your basic everyday run of the mill reaction to the end of 2009. Busy, busy, busy. That's all I've been this year. The end of fresman year was great, and I'm so glad that I'm no longer that hated person that people hate for no reason other than the fact that they're in the ninth grade. Summer was pretty cool. I didn't go anywhere, so I dedicated my summer to swimming and I had a great year on that front. The summer season is always so much fun, and I get so tan that the other guys get jealous. This summer was no exception, I was darker than a dark room in the middle of a moonless night in midsummer during a dark dream about death. I was really tan. And let's face it...I swam really fast last summer. The end of the short course season is almost here, and I'm looking forward to swimming really fast at both my state meets (high school and USA Swimming). Sophomore year will end soon, there's just one more semester of that. Everyone always says that sophomore year is the hardest, but I don't know what they're talking about. If it did get harder, then I guess I just rose to the challenge and did work and got done what needed to get done. Yes, I embark on this year, 2010, with high hopes and even higher expectations. It's gonna be a great year.

And so we go.

Remembering 2011

Man, what a year that was. 2011 was a great year. The end of junior year was awesome. I went to prom (my first one) and it was so much fun. Talk about a dance. It was really amazing. I passed junior year with flying colors, somehow managing to hold on to my 4.0 GPA. The times were fun, the days were short and life was good at the end of junior year. Then came the summer...man was it ever a busy one. I had barely gotten out of school, it seemed, when I was on my way with the church to New Orleans, Louisiana for a week of mission work. We got back and I barely had time to rest before I was on my way to GSP for the remainder of the summer. As I reflect on that summer of 2011, I always think about what I would've done if I hadn't made GSP. How would my summer have been different? Would I have had a job? How much time would I have spent doing things that I wanted to do? Who would I have met? Who would I have forgotten? Would relationships have been ruined? Would they have been made or repaired? There are so many unanswered questions from last summer, and sadly I won't have a chance to answer them. But then, before I knew it, GSP was over and I was back with all my family and friends and other various and sundry loved ones. Then the start of my senior year. What a whirlwind. No one could believe that we were now seniors, least of all myself. But I made it through the first semester, everything is going amazingly. And as I start this second semester I know that everything will continue to be amazing, through graduation, prom (again), and the start of college. I know 2012 will be a great year.

And so we go.