Have you ever had strong feelings of any sort? Anger. Hatred. Love. Emotions cloud the judgment and make you blind to everything. They create a picture that is shaped by the feelings and isn't always necessarily true. Love can make you ignore the faults of a person...even if the faults are really really bad. Anger can make you blind to the good side of a person. It's a two way street.
The teenage years are turbulent ones. Hormones are raging whether you're in the grips of puberty or not, feelings tend to get confused, and mistakes are made more often than avoided. Strong emotions are part of the roller coaster ride that is adolescent years. Love is a word overused and often misused. The strong feelings we have are confused. Love is used incorrectly and applied incorrectly as well. Love in particular has the most devastating effects on life.
Regardless of what you think about teens and love and relationships, we teens think we have love with our relationships. Do we misuse it? Absolutely. But it's part of the learning process. Through our "experiments" (I hesitate to use that term), we discover what we like in the opposite sex. We find for ourselves what we like, what we don't like, what we can live with, and what we can live without. If we didn't do this during these years we would only make our mistakes later and that would possibly be even more devastating.
Some say it's better to have loved and lost...I agree. Because when you lose what you loved it makes you appreciate what that person was to you. But the pain of losing that person who had owned your love for however long is hard to go through. Is the time that you spent with that person worth the pain of losing them without hope of getting them back? Sometimes its not. Which is why I wish I had never loved at all.
I have misused the word "love" more than I care to acknowledge. How can I help it? I don't know what love is anymore than the people who I said I loved did. We just don't know. We're eager to find out what love is because of what surrounds us. Our society pushes love and finding that person. It's pushed so much that the actual meaning of love has been lost. The media especially has clouded our views of what love is. I don't think anyone knows anymore. That is except for the people who have found it. The couple that is married for 80 years. That's love. Together through thick and thin? That's not an idea from a love song...it can happen. That's love. The first date that leads to engagement and the 80 year marriage...that's love. It's so hard to find that though.
I don't believe in love at first sight...for myself. Do I think that possibly there are instances where that happens? Sure, I don't want to say no because I don't know how all that works myself, but I acknowledge its possibility. Love is an experiment. It has no definition. Pain is involved yes, but love is also healing. It can pull you up when you're down. It is an amazing thing. I say that I wish I had never loved at all...but deep down I'm glad I have. I've learned some important things about myself through it all. Love is a good teacher like that. It's taught me that I need to leave it alone for a while. The pain of loss has finally bitten me too many times, it needs to be put to rest. Love...this is goodbye for now. I'll just have to resign myself to waiting for that person. Because I do believe that everyone has a perfect match somewhere. Call it wishful thinking on my part, but I honestly do believe that. I know that out there somewhere is the girl who really is the second half of me. That's one of the fun parts of this crazy journey we call life...the quest for your other half.
We exist simply to find companionship. That is the ultimate goal. I don't care what you say...single people aren't always happy. Humans yearn for the comfort of other people, especially that one person that fits perfectly with you. It's a rare match to make. But that's why the experimentation is important. It paves the way for the perfect person. They're out there...waiting for you.
Love. You have bitten me too many times. I've said it before...I need a break. The pain is hard to deal with, but I'll get through it. That's another lesson from love...how to take the loss and heartbreak and turn it into something good. Dealing with it. Moving on. That's life. That's love.
And so I go...
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