Understanding...Me

At the risk of sounding conceited, I am an extremely complex person. Not that each and every one of us isn't complex (the human body gives us each our own measure of complexity simply from existing). I don't know if anyone really understands me...heck, I don't know if I even understand myself completely.


Anyone who knows me will probably agree with me when I say that I have an interesting personality. My brains give me an academic standing over most people in the junior class (again not to be conceited, that's just how it is), I happen to have some measure of athletic talent, I can blend the student and the athlete like a pro (even though I keep my amateur status). Graham Duncan...that's my identity, but does anyone know what that means. I don't know if they do.


Being Graham Duncan means that I am the sixth in a long line of Graham Duncans. Being Graham Duncan means I come from a swimming background with a past full of successes and a future that is bright and currently stretching endlessly in front of me. Being Graham Duncan means I have been blessed with a cutting/sarcastic/gifted manner of speaking. Being Graham Duncan means academic success and a pressure to keep that academic success going. Being Graham Duncan means being my own harshest critic because of fear of what people will think or say if something happens that isn't Graham Duncan. Being Graham Duncan means dealing with the pressure of being smart and dealing with all the headaches of people trying to get my help when I just wish they would leave me alone so I can finish my own work. Being Graham Duncan is hard.


I don't fully understand myself. I know what I am and what I deal with, but actually knowing what that is and what that makes me is a whole 'nother ball game. The most annoying part of me is my brain. I wish I understood that more than I wish to understand Pre-Calculus or why the heart does what it does. I want to know how my brain works because sometimes I do things that just make me look at myself like wow...Graham Duncan is an idiot.


I hate that this whole post focused on me, I don't like judging and talking about myself. It's not me, but sometimes we all just get to thinking about these things. Never be afraid to question yourself. But don't hide who you are. Being able to be yourself is a wonderful gift...one that I have received very well.


And so we go.