As I was traveling back from St. Louis this weekend, I was struck with an idea. I was sitting in a McDonald's in Mt. Vernon, Illinois waiting for my order of 10 Chicken McNuggets (hamburgers just didn't appeal at the time). A girl walked in, and I, sitting on the other side of the restaurant, found myself distracted by her apparent good looks. I avidly watched her walk in and I thought, "Jeez, I should move to Illinois" in typical hormonal teenage guy fashion. But as she came closer I realized that she didn't have what I thought she did. Not that she was ugly, but from across the room, in the glare of the fluorescent lights, filled with anticipation of eating a good meal, I attributed a lot more beauty to her than she had.
So this begged the question, what factor does distance play in attraction to a person?
One can answer this when thinking purely about the physical looks of a person. From a distance this is all you can see. If you like what you see you could be attracted to that person, physically. But you can't see what they are really like. You can see that they are pretty but you don't know what they are like. But because they are pretty you are attracted to them. Take, for instance, the actors and actresses of Hollywood. I, like I'm sure many of my contemporaries have, have always harbored a fantastical attraction to the women of Hollywood. I mean, they're beautiful. I can see that they are beautiful. I'm attracted. But I also can't ever get to know who they really are. I'm still attracted by their looks. I'm also very far removed from them. Not only in the sense of distance, but also in the sense of social standing. Distance can definitely affect physical attraction.
And then there's the other side. If you are in a relationship with someone (whatever the level is) you obviously like something about that person that makes you want to be with them. So when you are separated from that person, separated from the things you like about them, it increases your attraction for them. How many men go away on a business trip for a month or however long and then come back and shun their wives? I don't know of many who would. The fact that they have been away for so long increases their attraction to their other half. They long to be with them. Distance from the other side increases the attraction one has for the other side.
The distance factor of attraction is a potent thing. It can lead to situations that might not be desired. Like me in that McDonald's. Feelings can be confused from a distance. You can make mistakes at a distance. It is a potent thing.
And so we go.
No comments:
Post a Comment